


When things can't be undone

by Chi_hei_sen



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14219205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chi_hei_sen/pseuds/Chi_hei_sen
Summary: Ohno sees something he'd rather never had seen.





	When things can't be undone

**Author's Note:**

> Set around Nino's stage play, Strangers on a train, based on haruchy@livejournal 's drabble.  
> The thing is I wanted to try my hand at angst, but I don't think it's as angsty as I intended it to be. I fail at angst ( •́ㅿ•̀。 )  
> Well, enjoy!

Ohno hasn't seen Nino alone in weeks. He knows the younger is busy with his individual projects beside their regular tv show recordings and concert rehearsal. Ohno understands all this, they've all had their share of busy schedules, but he misses Nino a lot these days.

  
So he thinks about making Nino a surprise visit at the theatre where Nino told him the rehearsals are held.

It's quite late when Ohno enters through the back door with a plastic bag from the conbini across the street in hand. First, he goes to the dressing room, but finds no one there and the lights are all off. He's afraid Nino has already left when he sees his bag on a chair in the corner of the room. Ohno then smiles to himself relieved and goes to find the room they're rehearsing in.

The lights are all off and Ohno wonders if Nino stayed back to practice by himself. But then he hears voices from behind a door and opens it lightly to find Nino and his co-actor rehearsing their lines.

Ohno looks mesmerized, his back leaning on the wall beside the door. The two man on the small stage don't notice him of course, so he can continue watching enrapt the scene in front of him.

He knows the story of the stage play, he's heard on news and Nino himself told him laughing about his complex character. So he's prepared for what he sees next. Or that's what he thinks. He sees the other actor, that Ohno doesn't know personally, coming and crouching above Nino and kissing him. It's only lightly and the man pulls away.

  
"It's not quite right, is it? It should be a little more passionate, I think... ' the man tells Nino and Nino nodds his head.

  
"Yeah, I guess so. Let's try one more time then. But after that I'm going home. I'm really tired. " Nino says chuckling, a little embarrassed for saying to the older actor that he wants to leave, Ohno thinks.

  
"Yeah, sure, sorry for keeping you so long for this. " the man says and Nino makes a dismissal hand gesture while smiling gently. Ohno likes this smile the most and watches now too, thinking that he has the cutest boyfriend.

  
They get back in position and the older actor hovers over Nino kissing him again. Ohno's heart clenches for the second time at the view of someone else kissing the one he loves, but struggles to push the feeling away.

  
The older man pushes harder against Nino's lips and puts a hand behind his neck. He gets his tongue in Nino's mouth and Nino pushes his hands against the man's shoulders. Ohno doesn't quite understand, but he knows something is wrong. Even so he still watches on frozen.

When the man keeps kissing Nino and puts a hand under his shirt to stroke his chest, Ohno understands that this is not how this scene is supposed to go. On the stage Nino stops struggling and moans instead when the man rubbs his nipples, pushing back into the man's mouth.

Ohno looks appalled at the scene unfolding before his eyes in the semidarkness. He wants to call out to Nino, to yell at them, but when his mouth opens is only to let out a shocked gasp.

His chest tightens in fear and he lifts his right hand to grip at it forgetting he was holding a bag with Nino's favorite bento. The sound of it crashing to the wooden floor wakes up Ohno from his shoked, petrified state, and attracts the attention of the two man. Nino's face pales at the first eye contact he has with Ohno.

  
"Ohno, wait! " he shouts when Ohno makes a step back, finds the door and runs out as fast as he can.

  
"Ninomiya-kun, I'm sorry, this got out of control. " the older man apologizes while Nino stands up to his feet and runs to the door to find Ohno.

He doesn't throw a look at the other man. But outside this room everything is surrounded in darkness, so Nino runs to his dressing room instead. He pulls out his handphone with unsteady hands and calls Ohno.

Obviously, Ohno doesn't answer. He calls again and again, but all he gets is the vocal message box. He lets a message telling Ohno things are not how it looks like and that they need to talk while at the same time taking his bag and going to his car. He doesn't meet his co-actor anymore and he's grateful for that.

  
Nino understands Ohno won't call him now, but his feverish mind can only think about finding him, talking to him, reassuring Ohno and himself that everything is alright. He doesn't know what to do anymore so he calls Sho and asks about Ohno.

  
"He's not here. What happened Nino? " he asks worried. Nino explains what happened earlier in that rehearsal room and gets a good scold of '' _what were you thinking, and how could you do that, Nino!''_  
"It's not my fault... I just... ' Nino tries, but Sho cuts him off.

  
"Call Jun, I'll call Aiba. If I get something I'll call you back immediately. " Sho says and ends the call.

  
Nino calls Jun too, but he doesn't get anything beside an even harsher reprimand.  
Once Jun lets him off he sees he has a message from Ohno. " _Don't disturb our friends and most of all my mom at this hour looking for me, Nino. I won't come back for a while. I need to be alone and think about this._ " the message says.

  
Nino feels dread creeping up his back. _Ohno won't come back for a while...._  
He parks in front of Aiba's apartment 10 minutes later, sobbing heavily and crying so hard he can't see anything before him. Aiba opens the door and takes him in his arms, pulling him in.

  
"It's ok, Nino, he'll come back, you'll talk this out and everything will be alright. " Aiba tries to hush him, but Nino's tears don't stop the whole night.

  
Ohno walks aimlessly through the dark alleyways, tears dried already, but mind still a mess. He doesn't know where to go. He doesn't want to worry his mother and he can't go to the apartment he shared with Nino or to the other members.

He walks on in a daze on streets he hasn't been before until he remembers he has a fishing friend that lives nearby. It is indeed very late, but hopes his friend would let him in to rest and think what to do tonight.

  
He rings the doorbell and when his friend opens up Ohno feels self-conscious and embarrassed for coming here.

  
"Ohno-kun? Did something happen? " the man asks bewildered.

  
"Can I stay for tonight? " Ohno asks with a grimace.

  
"Sure, come in. " the man says and Ohno is happy he doesn't ask him anything more. He wouldn't have been able to say a single thing about himself more so about his relationship with Nino.

  
The next morning he wakes up with the sunrise and calls Jun. He knows he won't be able to rely on Sho, even less on Aiba, who is Nino's childhood friend.

Jun tells him what Nino had told him the previous night. Which isn't much beside the fact that it was a misunderstanding. Ohno tells him even less. He is not the kind of person who'd just vent his anger. But Jun tells him what he wants to know. Namely, that Nino spent the night at Aiba and probably won't go home before 10 at least, after Aiba forces him to eat breakfast.

So Ohno leaves at once thanking his friend and going straight to Nino's house. He has spent all night thinking and overthinking things without getting to a decision, but one thing was for sure. He wants to move out of Nino's apartment.

So he goes early morning, takes all the things he knew were his and avoids looking at the things that bring out beautiful memories. He lets his keys on the coffee table and leaves in a hurry, afraid of coming face to face with Nino.

  
He doesn't have to face any of them for two days either. Nino has called him and left messages which he didn't read and refused to answer back. He felt it was his right to want to keep away for a while.

He has tried to think objectively, but how can he do that when his mind is plagued by that image imprinted on his retina haunting his every dream. He can't just throw it away and analyze the facts, Ohno isn't a robot, he bases his actions more on his feelings and intuitions than facts, and now all of it felt deceiving.

  
So when he goes to their group recording the next day he still has no answer. It is a VsArashi recording that would take all day and Ohno knows he can't avoid meeting Nino nor the others anymore. It just that he didn't expect Nino to wait for him in the hallway either.

  
"Oh-chan.... '' Nino starts in a whisper. Even though his eyes look anguished he seems determined. Of what, Ohno has no idea.  
Ohno makes a step towards the dressing room, but Nino stops him. Ohno looks up at him again.

  
"Where are the others? " he asks and Nino makes a gesture indicating the dressing room.

  
"Please, I need to talk to you.... '' Nino says touching Ohno's hand. Ohno makes a step back and nods.

  
"Look, Nino, I think we'd better end this.... '' Ohno says in a whisper himself. He doesn't know why he said that. He hadn't thought about breaking up with Nino at all, but now in this very moment when his blood is boiling just remembering what he saw he can't see any other way out.

  
"What? " Nino says paling visibly. "No, no, we can't break up just for that. It's a misunderstanding, Oh-chan. " Nino says with trembling voice.

  
"We both know it was no misunderstanding. That wasn't part of the script, Nino! " Ohno raises his voice annoyed that Nino still says that to his face. He can tell that to MatsuJun, but he had been there he knew what he saw.

  
Nino winces a little, but tries again.

  
"You're right, but it didn't mean a thing, he just got carried away, and I.... ' Nino doesn't know what to say.

For the first time, he doesn't know what to say to appease Ohno. He doesn't even know why he had done that. Was it sexual frustration, or he just thought that there was no one there and it didn't matter.... he didn't know.

  
"That's what hurts more Nino. That it didn't mean a thing and you still did it. How many more times and how many other things would you be able to do because they don't mean a thing. You didn't even think about me? You didn't think that I was missing you, waiting for you? " Ohno says reproach and anger in his unsteady voice that he tries hard to keep down.

  
Nino is crying silently, looking down. Ohno is right. He deserves this. All he can say now is '' _I'm sorry, I'm sorry... please forgive me..._ ''

  
"I want to forgive you, but I'm not ready yet. I just can't unsee what I saw. That image is haunting my mind and poisoning my heart. I just can't go back to how we were before. "  
Nino is sobbing heavily and clinging to Ohno's arms at those words.

  
"No, please, don't leave me, I need you. " he keeps saying feverishly in a kind of mantra way.

  
Ohno shakes his shoulders to make him look up.

  
"I don't trust you anymore! What kind of relationship do you think we'd have like that, Nino? " Ohno asks, but Nino can't answer anymore, he can't breath properly, his chest rising and falling in rapid successions.

  
"Oh-chan, it hurts. " Nino says in a strungled voiced clinging to Ohno's shirt, clawing at it.

  
Ohno has seen this before. Nino has always been an emotional teenager. With his family problems and Johnny's he soon developed hyperventilation syndrome.

  
"Nino, breath slowly, ok... '' Ohno tells him while looking for something in his bag.

Nino hasn't had attacks of panic in a long time, so he is unsure if he still has it in his bag, but when he sees the paper bag he thanks all the gods and puts it to Nino's mouth and nose.

  
"Ok, now, just breath slowly through it... ' Ohno says stroking Nino's hair soothingly.

Ohno's always been scared of seeing Nino in this state and now that he provoked it, he can't help feeling a strange sense of guilt he tries to fight away. " _It was Nino's fault in the first place.... I felt like I couldn't breathe when I saw that too... ''_ he thinks to himself.

  
When Nino calms down he brings him to the dressing room where only Jun is. Ohno helps him on the couch while Jun looks at them puzzled.

  
"Just rest for a while. There's still time before the recording starsts. " Ohno says and Nino nods his head and curls down against Ohno, not letting go of his hand for a second.

  
"What happened? " Jun asks in a whisper.

  
"A panic attack. " Ohno says back in the same way. Jun raises his eyebrows in a bewildered expression, but Ohno doesn't elaborate on the subject. The talk with Nino has exhausted him already and it is only 10 in the morning.

  
The rest of the day goes on in a flurry of bad jokes that Ohno doesn't find amusing, comedians that Ohno doesn't know and Nino gravitating around him more than usual. Ohno feels suffocated and lets out a relieved sigh when the day is over.

He quickly goes to the dressing room to take his bag and go home. On the way out of the television station, Nino is waiting for him, though.

  
"I saw you took your things and let the keys on the table. You're not coming back are you? " Nino asks looking directly into Ohno's eyes.

Ohno feels pierced by those beautiful eyes, Nino can read him so well after all.

  
"No... '' Ohno says and makes to pass by him, but Nino catched his wrist.

  
"Ohno please, please... you're right, everything you said is true. But please, I don't want to break up. Just give me another chance, that's all I ask for. " Nino says gripping Ohno's elbow.

  
"Not now, Nino. " Ohno says shaking his arm lightly out of Nino's hold. "I don't feel like thinking right now, I just want to be away from all this for a while, ok? " Ohno throws an apathetic little smile at Nino and just leaves.

He really doesn't want to make Nino suffer, it's not about petty revenge and he doesn't do it out of spitefulness, he loves Nino too much to do that, but he just can't give more right now.

  
Nino wants to follow him, but he knows that it would only make things worse. He'll have to give Ohno time and space for now.

  
Nino feels empty going home by himself and throwing himself on the unwelcoming too large bed. It's not like Ohno would spend all his days at Nino's house. He still liked to go back to his parents home and would sometimes go to his own apartment when Nino or he himself had too much work.

Even so, now it would be a moment when he'd call Ohno to spend the night together, knowing for sure that only him would be able to soothe the dull pain away. Unfortunately, the one he yearnes for right in that moment would not come no matter how much he'd call him.

  
The next days Nino has more stage play rehearsals. He has talked to his co-actor and both agreed that things should stay professional between them and not talk about the incident ever again.

His co-actor has apologized many times for his moment a weakness, a moment of weakness that cost him the most important person in his life Nino thinks.

Of course, he can't throw his anger at the other man, or blame him for his current problems. Not that he doesn't want to, but he can't tell anyone about his relationship with Ohno. So he smiles sweetly and says everything is ok.

  
Not seeing Ohno for a week already is eating at his heart. It isn't the first time they've been apart, but at least then he had been sure of Ohno's love for him. Now he is sure Ohno hates him.

When he gets out of the theatre late at night, he longes so much to hear Ohno's voice that he can't stop himself from calling him. He feels his heartbeat getting faster, hearing it in his ears while waiting for Ohno to pick up. " _He won't pick up.... he doesn't even want to hear me..._ '' Nino thinks disheartened, but then Ohno picks up and asks worried:

  
"Hey, are you ok? "

  
"Oh-chan... ' Nino says upon hearing the voice that he's been longing for, but now he feels greedy, he wants to see him too. "Can you please, meet me somewhere? I want to talk. "

  
And then there is a silent pause and Nino can hear a voice saying

  
"Who is it? " Nino freezes and his heart stops.

  
"You're with someone? I'm sorry for bothering you. " Nino says quickly and makes to end the call when he hears Ohno saying:

  
"I'm out with MatsuJun going through the choreography for tomorrow. You can come if you want to. "

  
"No, it's ok... ' Nino says still apprehensive.

  
"Then we can talk tomorrow at rehearsals, ok? "

  
"Yeah, sure...sorry. '' Nino stutters and Ohno ends the call. Nino goes to his car with heavy steps. If it had been Ohno from before he would have come anywhere to meet Nino, but he wasn't important anymore.

  
"Who was it? "

  
"Nino, he wanted to talk. " Ohno says drinking from his glass of beer.

  
"Why don't you just talk to him already. Why are you so stubborn? "

  
"Because I've already talked to him. He's the stubborn one, not understanding that we can't go back to how we were. He says he wants another chance. "

  
"I think you should grant him that second chance. You owe him that because it's Nino, we've known him for a long time. You more than anyone. " MatsuJun tells him like he's talking to a lost teenager.

  
"I'll think about it. " Ohno says only to close the subject.

  
He had really thought about it and decided to give Nino a second chance, a second chance to make things right between them. But in the next weeks, he doesn't really get Nino alone anywhere.

Nino has now started his stage play and until August he would have a really packed schedule, he barely comes at concert rehearsals too, rehearsing mostly at night it seems.

After that, the concerts start and everything becomes a blur of events. Besides, apart from asking Ohno to come see his stage play, which Ohno absolutely refused, Nino hasn't said anything to him anymore.

  
Time flew and here they were, not talking to each other, Ohno still avoiding Nino even though he had promised himself he'd give Nino a chance, Nino looking at him from the other corner of the room, not having enough courage to say anything to Ohno anymore.

  
After the Osaka concerts end they had a month of break until their next concerts in Saporo, a month of break for more filming and recordings.

  
Ohno starts filming for a tanpen drama that was eating his almost inexistent time away. The previous night they have ended the filmings at 2 am and it has been like that since he started it. He and his co-actress were acting more on caffeine than any acting skills that both of them would have had. He ends up sleeping for about 4 hours before his manager calls him to tell him he is waiting downstairs.

They have more recordings for their regular shows. He's so out of it he has no idea for what it is, but he doesn't care anymore as he greets his manager and goes back to sleep in the car.

  
It turns out it was a Himitsu no Arashi-chan recording this time and when he got there only Aiba and Sakurai had arrived. Ohno plopps on a chair and goes back to sleep.

When he opens his eyes later it's because he feels the smell of coffee in the air and shuffling feet on the floor. He opens his eyes and sees Nino sitting on a chair right opposite from himself. Nino seems to hesitate. He thinks about averting his eyes, but in the end he changes his mind and looks straight into Ohno's bleary eyes smiling faintly.

  
"Good morning. Want a coffee? "

  
Ohno looks around confused.

  
"Un.'' He hummes. "Where are the others? "

  
"The staff need some more time with the set, so they went to eat. " Nino says putting another cup of coffee in front of Ohno. Ohno smiles and thanks him and Nino's heart skips a beat.

He looks at Ohno surprised and unbelieving. It's been so long since he saw Ohno smile at him even a small smile like that, that he can't supress the speeding of his heartbeat and the tears welling in his eyes. He sits down again looking at the small tv in the corner of the room.

  
Ohno notices Nino's behavior and understands what Nino must feel. His heart clenches in his chest as he remembers what he had promised months ago.

  
"Nino...' he says in a whisper, but right then a staff member comes in telling them they'll start recording in 5 minutes. Nino sits up obligingly and follows the staff out. " _Bad timing. "_ Ohno thinks mortified going after Nino.

  
The first recordings pass quickly, but after lunch all of them feel tired. They are all sitting at the table, watching news while waiting for their next guest to arrive when Ohno sits up and walks to the door.

  
"I'm going out to smoke, if they call for us while I'm out give me a call, ok? " he says at the general room while going out.

  
Nino is playing on his DS when Aiba gets nearer.

  
"You haven't talked with Ohno since back then right? " he whispers in his ear.

  
"Yeah, so? "

  
"Don't you think enough time has passed? Ohno must have calmed down by now and he's probably more susceptible to listen to you. "

  
"You think so? " Nino says in an automatic way.

  
"Just go and talk to him already! I'm sick of seeing you like this! " Aiba says and forces him to the door. The others are laughing behind their palms so probably all of them knew about the plan of making Nino and Ohno get back together.

He sighs and walks to the balcony where he knows Ohno is always smoking. He is afraid of a new rejection from Ohno so he makes careful steps thinking what to say and praying Ohno would listen to him.

But he realizes there is someone whispering in the usual deserted hallway and when he looks up he sees Ohno and a girl talking really close to each other. In fact it's only her that's talking while Ohno is looking at her with a smirk on his face.

Just from that and he can guess what she must be saying. Even so, when she leans forward and kisses him, Nino is totally unprepared. How can he prepare his heart for the piercing pain that the view in front of him brings him?

Tears are streaming down his cheeks and he gasps trying to get air to his lungs. He takes two steps back slowly, afraid they'll hear him and then runs back to the dressing room.

  
"Nino, what happened? Did he reject you again? Why are you crying? " the other three ask all at once when they see Nino crash to the ground.

  
"He was right... '' Nino only whispers refusing to say anything else.

  
When Ohno comes back he finds Nino laying on a couch that hasn't been there before and the others tell him the recording has been canceled because the guest can't come, also because Nino is feeling unwell.

Ohno feels confused all of a sudden, like he has entered another dimension or something. He has been away for less than 15 minutes and now he finds his members hostile and Nino sleeping on a couch with red eyes.

  
"What happened? " he asks carefully looking at Jun.  
"Why don't you ask yourself? Look, I really don't want to meddle, but if you have someone else you should tell Nino clearly. He was still hoping, you know? " Jun says in a pitiful tone.

  
Ohno looks at the other two, but they didn't make eye contact with him.

  
"I don't have anyone. What are you talking about? " he whispers back to Jun annoyed.

" _What's going on here anyway?_ " is what's on Ohno's mind, eyebrows drawn in a frown.

  
"Just talk to him ok? We'll leave you two alone. Sho says and takes Aiba and Jun out of the room.

  
Ohno looks puzzled at the door closing behind them and then directs his gaze at the small figure on the couch. Nino has always been scrawny and frail looking, but laying there on his side with his knees up to his chin he looks even more delicate.

Ohno crunches down beside him and brushes his hair away from his eyes. Now he can see clearly that Nino has been crying. His eyes are red and there are still traces of tears on his cheek.

  
"Have I made you cry again? " Ohno whispers sighing. "I'm really sorry Nino. We've hurt each other a lot lately, haven't we? And even though, I promised I'll try to give us another chance I haven't done anything. " Ohno continues his monologue.

  
But it's getting late and Nino isn't opening his eyes and Ohno starts to worry. So he calls for Nino's manager.

  
"He started hyperventilating and they called for the nurse who gave him something to calm him down. He'll probably not wake up until tomorrow morning. Want me to stay with him? " the man asks.

  
"No, I want you to help me get him home. He'll be more comfortable there. " Ohno says taking Nino up from the couch into his arms.  
With Nino's manager help Ohno brings Nino to his apartment and stays with him the whole night.

  
Nino wakes up around 5 in the morning, when Ohno is preparing to leave to work. There's more filming to be done for the drama.

But when Nino wakes up and finds him in his bathroom both of them freeze. Nino rubbes his eyes two times in a row and Ohno chuckles. He puts a hand behind his lower back and leads Nino back to the bedroom.

  
"Are you ok, now? Do you need something? "

  
"I need to go to the bathroom. " Nino says blinking continuously still unable to believe his eyes. _"Why is Ohno in his house? "_

  
"Oh, sorry. Go. " Ohno says embarrassed.

  
Nino goes and comes out as soon as possible, he wants to make sure that Ohno in his apartment again wasn't a part of his dreams or something.

But Ohno is still there standing in his kitchen all dressed up and ready to go and Nino starts to panic again. Ohno notices him and walks closer.

  
"Nino.... ''

  
"Why are you here? Not that I don't want you here... but... '' Nino says voice cracking when he remembers what he saw in the tv station hallway.

  
"Nino, you had another panic attack yesterday and they gave you a strong sedative. I brought you here...I hope you don't mind I stayed....''

  
Nino blinks for a few times confused. He doesn't remember more than what he had seen in that hallway. He must have been in a horrible state for the guys to sedate him.

  
"Nino... '' Ohno says putting a hand on his shoulder and getting Nino out of his thoughts. "We need to talk, I want to talk to you about everything that happened in the past months... '' Nino was looking into Ohno's determined eyes, but then he just can't keep his gaze anymore, he is afraid of it all so he lets his head down.

  
"But I can't right now...'' Ohno continues.

  
"Why? " Nino says anguished. It's been so long already, but Ohno still can't talk to him yet?

  
"I have drama filming today. Is it ok if I come tomorrow? " Ohno asks still gripping Nino's shoulder. Ohno must be afraid too, Nino thinks so he smiles as encouraging as he can and says:

  
"Come tonight. "

  
"I'll be off late. The days before we've always finished after midnight. There's little time until it will be on air so... ''

  
"Come tonight. " Nino interrupts. "I'll wait for you, please come tonight. " Nino insists and something in his eyes and voice makes Ohno nod.

  
"Ok, I'll come straight here.'' Ohno says smiling heading to the door.

  
"Here, take your keys. " Nino says bringing him the keys from the coffee table where Ohno had left them four months ago.

A sudden jolt of pain pricks his chest. He stretches out his palm and receives the keys with a sad smile from Nino. He tries to smile back, but undoubtly it must be as sad as Nino's, Ohno thinks while going to his manager's car.

  
Nino himself has some work piled up for that day, mostly vtr recordings and photo shoots, so the rest of the day passes slowly for Nino who keeps wringing his hands in an unconscious attempt of keeping his agony at bay at least until Ohno comes to decide his fate.

He wants to think that if Ohno accepted to talk to him he still has a chance, but after seeing that, he is skeptic they'd go back to how they were before.

He keeps on tormenting himself until Ohno comes well after midnight, just like he had said and finds him with blood shot eyes staring off into nowhere, the outside lights being the only light source in the room.

  
Ohno nears him carefully and touches his face softly going pale. Nino has been crying. Ohno sits down in front of Nino and wipes his cheeks dry.

  
"What are you thinking about? " Ohno asks in a whisper. He is afraid of breaking the space Nino has enveloped himself in. Nino finally looks up at him, focusing on his face.

  
"About us.... I was afraid you wouldn't come. " he says, the same sad smile from that morning playing on his lips.

  
"I said I would... ''

  
" I know... ''

  
"I think it's high time you and me have that talk that I was reluctant to have before. " Ohno says after long moments of silence.

It wasn't comfortable silence though, it was silence that killed Nino's hopes and anguished Ohno's soul.

  
"I don't want to give up.... '' Ohno says after Nino nods resigned.

  
"You asked me for a second chance and I want to give it to us. I don't know if I can forget that pain, but I've come to peace with myself now... and the strongest feeling in me right now after the anger passed is that I love you and I miss you and I just... don't want to give us up. " Ohno says while Nino is crying silently again.

  
Ohno wipes his cheeks again and chuckles.  
"No more tears ok? No matter how this ends up I don't want to see you cry anymore. "

  
"What do you mean? " Nino asks alarmed.

  
"If you don't want to get back together even if I want to... ''

  
"No, no, of course I want you back, I miss you, I love you... '' Nino says in a rush. "But I ... I saw you yesterday with your girlfriend.... you were right.... that can't ever be unseen and the pain was overwhelming. " Nino says not meeting Ohno's eyes, ashamed of having seen that scene.

Ohno takes Nino's hand in his hands and makes him look back at him.

  
"What girlfriend? What did you see? "

  
"Yesterday in the hallway when you went to smoke you were kissing... ''

  
"Ohh, you saw that? " Ohno chuckles and Nino gloweres at him.

  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But she's not my girlfriend and we weren't kissing, she kissed me. "

  
"But you had that smirk on your face that you usually throw at me when I say something teasing. "

  
"Well, she was really brazen. If you had stayed a little longer you would have seen I pushed her away and told her I have someone I love already. " Ohno says smirking and Nino blushes under his gaze.

  
Ohno puts his arms around Nino and Nino lets his head fall on Ohno's shoulder and they stay like that for a while in complete silence again.

Nino's brain is overthinking things again, unsure and unconfident. But when he looks up he sees Ohno's face is serene.

  
"What now...? " Nino asks voice quivering.

  
"Now...now you promise me something like that won't happen ever again because I don't think I can bear it.... "

  
"It won't, I swear, because I don't think I can bear to be apart from you again either. " Nino swears quickly, words tumbling from his mouth as he interrupts Ohno.

  
"Ok... '' Ohno says and leans in face to face with Nino now, looking at him and actually seeing him after months of avoiding each other.

It's been mostly him though, the one who's been avoiding looking Nino in the eyes, afraid that it will bring back the awful image he saw that night. But now he looks attentively, taking in the expressions that play on his face.

He can see that Nino is self conscious, shy in the way he looks at his lips, and recognizes the air of anticipation that envelops them. He knows Nino won't take the first step, so he smiles and leans forward to kiss Nino's lips softly.

Nino sighs and Ohno realizes how anguished Nino must have been and how much he must have been yearning for this moment, just like he himself has.

  
"I love you.... '' Nino whispers after they break away and goes back to hide his wet face in Ohno's neck, confident now that his touch won't be rejected anymore.

"I love you too. " Ohno says softly and tightens his hold around Nino's body.

When he feels Nino's body going heavy, Ohno stands up and pulls Nino with him, who groans unhappily to be out of Ohno's arms.

  
"We should go to sleep. " Ohno whispers and when they get to the bed Nino goes back to nuzzle happily at his chest making Ohno chuckle and feeling complete again.


End file.
